On January 16,2017 my Fiance asked me to be his wife. On March 18, 2017 at brunch overlooking the inter coastal, I asked nine of the most beautiful and selfless women I know would they take the journey to the alter with me. They have been the epitome of amazing. In the midst of a choatic wedding planning season, the DIVINE NINE, have represented everything peaceful and perfect in my life.
Deciding on who will serve in your bridal party will be the second most important decision of your wedding planning process, and their presence during this season just may save your sanity.
On my quest to select my bridesmaids I came up with five secrets to selecting the right people to ensure a successful experience. I have broken them up up into two categories, “how you manage your bridal party,” and “how you select the ideal bridesmaid.” There is no right or wrong way, however this is what what assisted me, and I hope there is a nugget or two that can help you.
1. As a bride you control the energy of your bridal experience
The day that I popped the question to my Bridesmaids I told them that I wanted to enjoy this experience, but I also wanted them to enjoy the process equally.
As the bride you control the energy of your bridal experience. With that realization, before you name a single bridesmaid you have already began to create an environment in your heart that will only be receptive to joy, optimism and support. Set the tone, they will follow.
2. Set clear and honest expectations from the outset
One of the key elements to a successful bridal experience is setting clear expectations upfront. That includes the Bride doing a little homework prior to selecting your bridesmaids, so that you will be able to tell them what you need from them. For every bride the support needed varies, whether it be emotional support, physical presence, or financial contribution. Whatever you need, lay it out early, so that potential bridesmaids can make an informed decision, sooner than later.
3. Consider the lifestyle and current situation of your potential Bridesmaid
Money and location proximity aren’t everything. However, it is important to consider the current lifestyle and situation of your potential bridesmaid. For example: You have been friends for 17 years, but your friend is in a financial bind and is a new mom. Her fiances and time are restricted, consider making her a host to ensure she is a apart of your days, without being over extended and financially overwhelmed. Consideration goes a long way.
4. Quality over Quantity
Don’t feel obligated to give anyone a title simply because of the length of time you have been friends. You want to select the best person for the job. You want to select the individual who is the most “currently” present, if they meet all the other criteria that you deem important. I had to make the decision to choose between someone I knew for 10 years, who is a dear friend v. a friend I have only known for 4 years, but is responsible for me even dating my now fiance. Quantity and Quality are not synonymous.
5. Make Reliability a Requirement
When deciding on your bridal party you want to select individuals who are responsible in both their personal and professional life. By asking someone to be a bridesmaid you’re inviting them into a very intimate and personal season. So its imperative that you choose individuals who have the capacity to responsibly manage their life, and will be available to assist manage yours.
If you’re committed to keeping your stress low, and the dope vibes high you will have to make some tough yet necessary decisions. If she/he loves you they will understand.
-Love and Light,